Most often, when people think of domestic abuse, they have an idea of one partner physically harming the other. This falls under the category of domestic violence, however domestic violence is not the entirety of domestic abuse. Undoubtedly, domestic violence is absolutely a matter to be addressed immediately, but it is only one among many. The following characteristics are signs of domestic abuse that are not always recognized as domestic abuse because they are not domestic violence. In fact, all of them are signs of domestic abuse, and need to be addressed expediently.

1. Threats

Many people believe that threatening someone is unlike domestic violence because it does not actually have an action behind it. Threateners often think that, in fact, threats are not a sign of trouble, and that only actual domestic violence is. In fact, this is wholly untrue. Threats are absolutely a form of domestic abuse, and should be addressed immediately. Moreover, these threats can come in all sorts of forms. These threats may insinuate domestic violence, or they could be threats for the person to harm himself or herself if the partner does not act as he or she wishes.

2. Put downs

Making one’s partner feel bad by telling him or her that he or she is not good enough, or that he or she is stupid, or a bad parent, or unloved, or any other variety of speech intended to make the person feel bad about himself or herself is domestic abuse.

3. Control or manipulate your actions

Any person that looks to control his or her partner is committing domestic abuse. This can, of course, be done physically in a form of domestic violence, but it can also be done by one partner explicitly forbidding the other to do certain things or see certain people. It can also be done in a more sneaky way that involves the abuser telling the victim that something will happen if the victim goes through with the action; this can range from something being destroyed or someone being harmed to the abuser saying he or she will hurt or kill himself or herself.

4. Hurt you

Inflicting pain is absolutely domestic violence, and a most extreme form of domestic abuse. If one person harms another in any way, no matter if he or she later claims it was an accident, if it just happens once, or if it didn’t hurt very much, it is still domestic violence and should be dealt with accordingly.